You may not think that a 64-year-old and 14-year-old would have a lot in common. But throw in some AFL and a frappe, and you’ve got the makings of a beautiful mentorship.
Rob, a father of two, spent most of his working life developing retail store managers, onboarding new staff and developing their skills. He was driven to mentoring for the same reason he was driven to development – human connection.
“When I retired, although I didn’t miss the stress and pressure of retail, I did miss the human connection, the developing people connection.”
“I became a mentor because I wanted to fill the void of not working with people.”
Four years after retirement, he searched for mentoring opportunities in the northern suburbs of Melbourne and came across Uniting Vic.Tas mentoring program.
Rob didn’t simply want to do a couple of sporadic mentoring sessions. “I wanted to build on a relationship as well,” Rob says.
Uniting’s mentoring program in Epping helps young people between the ages of 12 to 17 to build positive relationships with caring and supportive mentors from the community. Through this program, Rob was linked up with 14-year-old Harrison, whom he meets with most Tuesdays after school, and more frequently during school holidays.
As the second-youngest of four siblings, Harrison’s family home is full of all the noise and lively chaos you’d expect of a jam-packed home. Harrison’s time with Rob, often spent over a frappe or KFC, allows him to slow down and talk about life, one on one, with an adult.
“It’s just nice to have another person to talk to, other than family and friends,” Harrison says.
Harrison’s mother, Tryphena, describes Rob as a “grandfather figure” for Harrison.
“He’s not only been good for Harrison, but he comes to our home, and he always checks in on the kids. During the week, he’ll message just to see how Harrison is going,” Tryphena says.
“He’s really invested a lot of time in Harrison’s life to get to know him, and I think Harrison’s appreciated just having someone else he can speak to if need be,” she says.
A bond formed through common ground
The two share a common interest in football – Rob barracks for St Kilda and Harrison barracks for historical rival Collingwood.
“I like to get into him when his team St Kilda lose,” Harrison says. “We have a lot of fun bagging each other’s teams out.”
The pair attended an AFLW game together where Rob helped facilitate a photo with Harrison and the Collingwood captain.
Rob leaned into Harrison’s love of footy to form a comfortable connection and encourage the teenager to gradually open up about deeper topics.
“When we first met, communication was a lot about footy because it was what he was interested in. It got him talking and engaging and sharing ideas and thoughts and philosophies and things like that,” Rob says.
Rob came to learn that Harrison’s favourite topic was school; particularly school concerts. The retiree started relating the school concerts to other life themes – confidence, leadership, teamwork and friendships.
“He loves talking about the rehearsal. What songs they’re gonna be singing, the costumes. I let him drive the conversation and if he mentions something, I’ll jump on that and try to elaborate on what they’re doing and try to highlight the meaning behind everything. There’s always a meaning,” Rob says.
Rob has now attended several of Harrison’s school concerts to support the teenager on stage.
Reflecting on his time spent with Harrison thus far, “I think I probably get as much out of it as he does,” Rob says. “Developing people, supporting people, that’s the thing – I always enjoyed my work life, and I think that’s just extended into my mentoring.”
Rob now recommends mentoring to his friends and other retirees who may be looking for a new type of fulfillment.
“I would definitely recommend it to anybody who wanted to participate and make a difference and be a positive influence on somebody,” Rob remarks.
Learn more about how to become a mentor with Uniting’s youth mentoring programs.
