Perhaps one of life’s harshest realities is our inability to choose the circumstances into which we are born.
For Lily* and Oliver*, both in their early 20s, childhood was unlike most. While still in utero, their parents had come to the attention of the Victorian child protection service.
“There was a lot of alcohol and drug abuse and also neglect on us children,” shared Lily, now 21.
“There were a few times here and there where they tried to put us back in our parents’ care, but nothing was working. It was better for us not to be there.”
Substance dependency, neglect and family violence remain some of the key reasons young people are placed into foster, kinship and residential care.
“We were in and out of a lot of homes,” said Oliver.
“When I was younger, a lot of what I felt was confusion because I didn’t understand what our parents had done until I was 11 or 12,” added Lily.
“I was in a lot of denial. It wasn’t until I hit that age and understood why I was being placed in other homes.”
In the years that followed their birth, the siblings were frequently uprooted between homes, placed in various care arrangements. However, several of these homes were also characterised by abuse.
“Our Nan was physically abusive to us kids. We got removed because our eldest sister put an intervention order on her,” shared Lily.
Finally, after years of separation and further abuse, the pair were placed together under the care of their aunty.
“Our carers have been very similar to our parents and still been very neglectful. However, our aunty was lovely. The total opposite to the other family members,” said Lily.
At around 15, Oliver and Lily were put in touch with Uniting’s Better Futures program which supports young people who have been in the statutory care system with their transition into adulthood and independence.
There they met Katrina, Uniting’s Better Futures Coach.
“I do become quite connected with these young people because I’m with them for such a long time,” shared Katrina.
“They’re usually with me for up to 5 years. I sometimes feel like I’m mum to a lot of these kids.
“I can support with things like housing, employment, education, family connections, community connections. Things that will really set them on that path to a better future.”
For young people without the privilege of a family support system, this practical care can be immensely important in building their futures.
“[Katrina] would do things that my mum should have been doing with me,” said Lily.
“Like take me to doctor’s appointments or take my car down to get serviced. When I first turned 18, I felt very isolated, so I felt very supported by her. Whenever I needed, I could get her help.”
“Katrina was awesome. She was unreal. She was always there if we needed help,” added Oliver.
Uniting’s Better Futures program works to identify pathways, resources and relationships within the community that can support young people to realise their aspirations, develop their strengths and achieve their goals.
“[Katrina] was very determined to make sure I had everything that I needed and that I wasn’t struggling in silence,” said Lily.
“Because I’ve been through kinship care and foster care, I don’t like people viewing me as just a charity case and just handing me things. Whereas Katrina never treated me like that.”
With Uniting’s support, Oliver has been successfully building his career as a carpenter for the past 5 years and Lily is currently pursuing her qualifications in early education while working in childcare.
“They’re an absolute credit to themselves. Watching them grow into the amazing young people they are and seeing them give back to community now,” said Katrina.
“It’s really heartwarming. And that’s what makes my job worthwhile. When you see young people that are successful regardless of their past.
“To choose to break that cycle and make better lives for themselves and their future generations. It’s just phenomenal.”
*This is a true story about real people. Some details such as names have been changed to respect the wishes of the people featured. The image accompanying this story is for illustrative purposes only.
