Content warning: This article mentions themes of homelessness, mental health and family violence. If this article raises concerns for you, please contact Lifeline 13 11 14 or Respect 1800 737 732.
We call it the ‘Silly Season’. A time for laughter, family, and celebration. But behind closed doors, Christmas can be one of the most dangerous times of the year.
In Victoria alone, reports of family and domestic violence surge by almost a third during the holidays. That’s one family experiencing violence every 5 minutes.
Behind every statistic is a home once filled with love, now marked by control and fear.
It’s easy to believe you’d never find yourself in that situation. That you’d see the warning signs or walk away before things got worse. But abuse doesn’t always start with violence. It begins subtly, with control, manipulation or fear, until leaving feels impossible.
In most cases, women are abused by the men who are supposed to love them. It can happen to anyone … even bright, confident women like Emma*.
For Emma, the abuse began with small signs. The man she once found charming and fun, Matt*, became angry when they were trying to start a family.
“He couldn’t control his temper. I thought I was being the bigger person trying to help him through his anger,” she says.
“After I fell pregnant … he did get physical, pushing me around … I ended up internally bleeding for over two weeks before I lost the baby.”
Things got worse when baby Tamara* was born.
Pushing turned into grabbing and shaking. Then came the first time Matt hit her in the face, leaving bruising and a cut lip.
The neighbours heard the arguing and pleaded with her to get police involved because “we’re scared for you, Emma”.
Breaking point came one day when the violence touched baby Tamara:
“He threw the frying pan … he turned around and backhanded me, and I just stood there in shock. And then he grabbed me by the throat.”
“I’m holding my baby at the time … He let go and then backhanded me again … this time [he made contact with] my daughter … I sat on the couch thinking, ‘I don’t know what to do.’”
The distraught young mum messaged her neighbours. They had heard her screaming and already called the police.
Emma never thought she would be in this situation. She was bubbly and confident. She ran her own business. She managed to buy a house at 23. Yet even someone as strong and independent as Emma can find themselves in an abusive relationship.
She believes that without Uniting’s help, she “possibly would’ve ended my life”.
Many women in Emma’s situation flee with young children. They may have no income and no job. Perhaps only the clothes on their backs. With no place to go, homelessness looms.
This Christmas, you can help a mum like Emma to escape violence and rebuild her life.
Because whatever comes next, thanks to your compassion, she knows she’s not alone. Your caring donation will go towards:
✓ A place to call home so mums don’t have to remain with violent partners just to keep a roof over their child’s head
✓ Essential groceries so mums and children fleeing family violence don’t go hungry
✓ Trauma counselling and therapy so mums like Emma and her children can heal from domestic abuse.
Uniting staff helped Emma with all of these things, making it possible for her to end this abusive relationship.
Today the bright, assertive woman is back and baby Tamara is thriving in a safe, loving home. That’s the power of compassion.
This Christmas, your donation can give women like Emma the support and safety they need to rebuild their lives and begin to heal.
Donate today.
*Some details such as names have been changed to respect the wishes of the people featured. The photo accompanying this story is for illustrative purposes only. It is not a photo of the people featured in this story.
